Friday, November 4, 2011


First, complaints from an imagined developer:
  1. You are not nerdporn. When I do my contracting as a developer, I can no longer take my fixie to the local programmers coffee shop to do work and look cool. Since I don't go out otherwise, how the hell am I going to get a girlfriend in Sunnyvale with such crap?
  2. You are so easy to use that your community is chock full of people who can't code. Like a business guy fooled into the idea he can skimp out on hiring one of us expensive nerds by coding that brilliant facegrouptube idea himself (with an iphone app of course, it'll make millions!). How hard can it possibly be to write a product and platform? Pshh!, piece-o-cake!
  3. You are simply not expressive enough. My coding boner goes way flaccid when I see how not purty PHP is. When my emacs window doesn't follow the rule of thirds when looking at code I get pissed off and it makes baby jesus cry.
Programmers of the Internet.
With all the hate, why is it still hands down, the most popular language for websites that people actually use?

Things get done when bickering pedantic coders stop caring about process and focus on product. Picky nerd debates about refactoring, design, coding approach ... get tossed, because they are more annoyed by the environment then they are by all those lost Dr Who episodes. This speeds things up enormously (because nobody is arguing any more) and like magic, shit actually gets done.

This makes PHP an extremely productive, fluff-free language. It's not going to change any time soon and nobody is excited about it; people don't assemble in church basements on a Tuesday night like narcotics addicts to talk about how awesome it is at solving all your problems.

It becomes just a tool; which is the ideal position of any language.

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